What to do When You're Feeling Out of Place

Attending a great college? Check.

Met with amazing opportunities and new people everywhere you turn? Check.

Following the best Instagram account for life-saving (or at least time-saving) UVA advice? Check.

Feeling like the hyper-intelligent force to be reckoned with that you are? Uh…

If you’ve doubted your skills, you’re not the only one. UVA seems to be filled with overachievers - everywhere you turn there’s someone taking more credits, in more clubs, with more leadership positions. And yet these overachievers can still sleep in every morning and breeze through impossible classes (shout out to physics 2) like they are remedial pre-school. Seems unattainable, doesn’t it?

I’m here to tell you that it’s not. To someone else, you might very well be that picture of the ideal college student.

It always seems worse in your head.

You are your own worst critic. It’s hard not to be when you spend every hour of every day with yourself. But on the other hand, you don’t know what other people are truly going through. Someone who may appear put together could just have some serious skill with concealer, or a knack for showing up at the party just before the photos are taken and leaving a few minutes after. Few people advertise their worst moments to the world - that doesn’t mean they don’t have them.

College is hard.

It seems obvious, but sometimes a reminder is good to have. Going from being the top of your class to electives being your only A isn’t easy. But that’s because the work isn’t easy. If you’re keeping up with the class and understanding the information (even if it is after the test), then you’re halfway there. Celebrate your accomplishments! Just because they’re not where you would like doesn’t mean they can’t be a milestone for you. College isn’t a one-class sprint, it’s an eight semester marathon. Just because you had a bad day, or even a bad semester once doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for college. It just makes you human.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Sometimes the imposter syndrome can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy - you don’t think you can, so you won’t even try. If you see your grades slipping or feel your motivation waning, don’t just sit there in silence. Don’t lie awake at night, wondering what your life would be like if only you hadn’t given up one semester in. Do something about it, whether that’s talking to a friend or reaching out to CAPS. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help. Do something that Future You will thank you for, and take the steps necessary to achieve your goals.

What does success mean to you?

Do you really care about taking an impossible number of courses, or do you just think you should? If your friends weren’t talking about going out the night before a midterm worth half your grade, would you feel bad about staying in to study? It’s tempting to compare your experience to that of your peers, but at the end of the day the only thing that matters is how you stack up with yourself.

You’ve already proven you’re worthy of being here.

If all else fails, remember why you were accepted to UVA. Maybe you were passionately involved in a club, or you put in the long hours of studying to get the perfect GPA. Maybe you’re a prodigy, and even the hardest concepts seemed trivial to you.

Regardless, something that you did paid off. Somebody saw something awesome in you. The people in admissions spend their careers carefully evaluating people, deciding who earned the privilege of being a Wahoo. You were one of the lucky few who made it. And isn’t that proof enough that you belong?